yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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