he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
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