fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
