I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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