I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
