oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
