the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
