btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Randomize
