We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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