Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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