I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
