She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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