you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
