she kept yelling 'call me bella'
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Randomize
