why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
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