She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
