So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize
