Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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