i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
