i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
