My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
