Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
