For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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