How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
