I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
