I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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