VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
