We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
