I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
