Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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