Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Randomize
