We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Semen is not good for contacts.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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