yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
