A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Randomize
