I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
tell me about the fingering
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