2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize
