I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
