Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
you win again, gameday.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Randomize
