She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
This is my gift to your gina
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Floor bacon is actually really good
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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