hell yes lets make some ravioli
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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