I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
