thus making me awesome and them whores
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Randomize
