ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
