Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
