She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
