Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
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