So drunk, too bad you don't want this
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Randomize
