So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
