i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
