Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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