i will never coherently bang her
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Randomize
