took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
