That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
