Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
