I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Randomize
