So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
