dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Randomize
